Monday, June 1, 2009

A poem by me..

I wrote few poems and wanna share one which was liked by many of my friends

A silent whisper with an unshed tear,
A broken heart with a solitary sphere,
Makes me cry.
The fear of losing you,
and the thought of getting separate,
Has snatched my sleeps,my laughs,my dreams.
Why are you leaving me?
why are you going far?
Cant you notice,
My wet lashes and my tears trickling eyes?
Without hesitation,without trepidation
I just believe you and ran towards you
To grab your hand and to share my views
As you were always there,
To wipe my eyes and to console my fears
But,everyone has now gone
Except my sincere tears
Time is passing on,
but moments seem to be ceased,
My life has gone
But i still breath!
If you are near,
listening to me there,
I just have one request
Dont forget me dear!!!


Rehan Damani said...

Wow nice one ! I think you should share more.

Are you also interested in Urdu poetry?

siddiq akbar said...

Though My aesthetic sense is extremly weak, but I got really impressed of your poetic instinct. Don't worry I wont ask you how to improve my aesthetic sense becasue I know it is pretty instinctive and I bet you can be a good potess just keep doing it and we would like to read your other poetic stuff as well so please share them with us.

Khurram Ali Shafique said...

I locate it in the line "Yeh dukh yeh udasi, yeh aansoo yeh aahien" in the song 'Akele na jaana' (female version, which is translation of a passage from a Persian classic). But the poem IS saying, "Akele na jaana" :). I like the poem.

ReeBz said...

Siddiq akbar,
thanks alot for liking the really means so much to me, that not only you people are liking my poem but also ready to bear few more:)

khurram sir,
i think i've heard da song akele na jana, if it has some next lines like "hame chor kar tum"
but if its something else, than i don't know.
still i don't remember the full song akele na jana, and those lines you mentioned in da beginning so i can't say anything.

ReeBz said...

thanks for liking da poem sir :), i just missed saying thanks in the last reply.

Khurram Ali Shafique said...

I have a suggestion: how about writing a reply to it from the side of the other person, who is addressed in this poem?

ReeBz said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

ReeBz said...

no sir, i don't think i can do this. cause i'm not a poet, i had just some feelings that time, which flew in poetic sense and i wrote them down on paper, then arranged da lines.. :) to give it a look of a free poem.

Rehan Damani said...

I guess Khurram Sir is motivating you to write "Jawab-e-Shikwa" of your "Shikwa" :P

Not a big deal for you I guess !! And I think to be a poet you just need to "feel", and that I can deduce from your poem that you can do !

ReeBz said...

Hehe yeah i guessed it too :P
but i didn't feel like writing "jawab-e-shikwa" for my shikwa:P cause shikwa did its duty well and all was settled :D

Alam said...

But,everyone has now gone
Except my sincere tears

Touching. Loved the way you expressed it.

Talha said...

It is indeed very good poem. very touching and full of emotions.

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